Thursday, December 15, 2011

Dear Friend I Last Saw More Than 20 Years Ago Who Has So Kindly Continued To Include Me As Part of Your Yearly Christmas Form Letter,

I hope this Christmas finds your vision 20/20 and your faculties sound.  It has been kind of you to include me among the family and friends you keep in touch with each Christmas.  I was surprised to look at your picture this year and find your hair has grayed and your children are both about the age we were when we first met.  To be honest, perhaps I would have noticed years ago, had I not been throwing your card, unread, into my recycling bin for the last five years.  I could claim I didn’t realize it was intended for me, as it is addressed to my married name and I reclaimed my maiden name nine years ago when I got a divorce.  At the time, I informed you of my update in name and circumstance in my handwritten note at the bottom of the my handmade card I sent to my Christmas card list.  
Over the next five years, I continued to receive mail for a woman I have never been - you actually are sending it to a woman with my ex-husband’s last name, which I never actually took.  When I was married, my name was my maiden name combined with my husband’s name, hyphenated.  Each year I tried to find a new and creative way to update your address list by highlighting my last name, writing it in bold, or surrounding it with arrows.  Finally I was forced to conclude that you weren’t reading my cards.  That is why I stopped sending them several years back.  
I’ve forgotten, did your husband work for the US Postal Service?  You seem to have a decided interest in keeping them busy at this time of year.  
It is only this year, filled with the spirit of “WTH it’s Christmas,” when I opened your card and saw your smiling, innocent faces that it occurred to me - perhaps these letters have been intended for my ex-husband and his new wife?  I’m sorry I never thought to forward their address to you.  How thoughtless of me.  But then, the included Hallmark card always has my name, just my name.  Hmmm it is a puzzle.  
I was glad to hear the year has been kind to you and you have been busy, that your son graduated at the top of his class and your daughter is getting married.  I’m glad your husband has remained in good health.  
Until next year, 
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.


Greyhawk said...

I am suddenly very happy that I haven't sent out a mass mailing to my friend's list in five or six years...

Merry Christmas, ACE! And I hope the coming year brings you happiness, prosperity, and a deep sense of personal fulfillment.

angiece said...

Well Greyhawk, it isnt' really anti-mass mailing cards. It is only anti-mass mailing cards when you can't seem to be bothered paying any attention to what is going on in the recipients lives. If you can't be bothered to be polite about name changes in a world of divorces, something else would seem to be going on, you know? A couple of details near the end . ..what is going on in those people's life, for instance, are exaggerated, but the rest is absolutely a true story. My blog simply gave me the opportunity to rather anonymously (would people who never read my Christmas card, read my blog? Of course not!) say something I've wanted to say for years lol.

Merry Christmas to you too Brian . ..