The Island of Misfit Toys

The Island of Misfit Toys - angieceable/mastrabadinage

Pass the Potato, Buds

another angieceable - mastrabadinage

Pass the Potato, Buds

An Accidental Act of Civil Disobedience

On Tuesday, as a stunt, the State of Tennessee decided to cover itself in plastic

Just like the picture of the state on a globe at the governor's daughter's school

The state's bureaucracy had a half-day meeting to decide what color they should be

Finally determined only blue would make any sense

The project was sold to the people as  providing 200 jobs to make the plastic

As well as another 200 to hand the pieces out

Michigan quickly announced their own project, followed by Florida and West Virginia

As the plan spread across the states, only Delaware was a hold out

They finally gave in after having heard one too many times

Your absence would barely be noticed

By Friday, plans were announced in Canada and Costa Rica

Followed by Holland and Brazil
Soon it became an international jigsaw network

Just the thing to save the world economy
Everyone seemed to agree

They just couldn't choose a united color scheme

Someplaces  followed Tennessee's lead

And kept to the primary colors of a  schoolchild's map
Which became too crips and the bloods for political pundits

Others Insisted on the natural hues found topographically
but were called literal idiots
"that's what it looks like in the first place ....  fool"

While still others insisted on the sepia tones

Designating a place of historical importance

North Korea and South Korea 
Refused to have pieces with interconnecting tabs

As did the Irelands, both Republic and North

And in a rare moment of frivolity

North Dakota and South Dakota followed suit

There was great debate and argument over pay scales

Especially in places accused of outsourcing

The work to locations without unions

Meanwhile many citizens, especially the elderly, resisted 

Refusing to budge or consider the matter
"I've never heard of such a thing" and 
"Back in my day, it was legal
To shoot government who stepped up to your door"

So Hollywood filled 200 more jobs

Creating the films promoting patriotic responsibility and duty

A billionaire entrepreneur with his own space program

Announced plans to capture the spectacle from above

CNN planned live coverage of the event, while FOXNews anchors asked 

Who is behind this mysterious plot and is it really a conspiracy

To redistribute the world's wealth

United in a plan, the world built the pieces
And distributed them in just eight short months

Only to have the plan falter and stall out again 
For six long more months

While America got her infrastructure up to code

The world synchronized their watches

With the first pieces to go aloft in Christmas Island and Samoa

Followed by the Chatham Islands and New Zealand

While Hawaii, Midway Island and American Samoa
Finished the tail end of the whip of the world's wave

Some say the globe was rescued from certain death

Some say we would've died of suffocation

Had it not been for Mr. Bill Campbell

Rural Route 2, Albuquerque, New Mexico

Who overslept and failed to lift his puzzle piece aloft

When asked about his motivation later, he insisted

He had no special foresight, intuition or knowledge

No planned resistance or political view

Repeating only a singular comment

"Was that supposed to be today?"

He asked

"I Gotta Rock, Halloween"

angieceable - mastrabadinage - "I Gotta Rock, Halloween"

Sex & Therapy & Sex

Sex & Therapy & Sex

Less ( )

                                                                          Less

Waiting

Waiting

Time
Only time
Endless time
With nothing to fill it

Think
Of nothing
Punctuated
By nothing times nothing

The air is thick
With dropouts of thin
And i'm just not sure
What to do with my hands

Perhaps write a formless poem
To complain about the time
I just can't escape

Time

All I Ever Wanted

All I Ever Wanted . . .

Our paths crossed again today
That keychain and mine
You know the one, overcrowded
With keys to the passed doorways
I can't do anything with it
So ....

I baby oil my bath water
Play the bobsled bop
Let the water fly

Adobe Acrobat slowed my computer
To a crawl, a prisoner to its demands
Ignore and I'll just see it repeatedly
I can't do anything with it
So ....

I slip my feet out of my shoes
Squish the mud between my toes
Paint my white feet brown

A drought in the Bible belt
A shooting at Capitol Mall
And you're out spouting politics
As if you can control it at all
I can't do anything with it
So ....

I hit the gas when my car
Crests the top of a hill
Raise my hands up high.

This makes me happy and inspires me

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/23/disney-world-security-guard_n_1695034.html

Labels From the “Divorce File:” 9 Years Later

So . . . . . just how long are you “divorced?”

Let me explain.  Recently, talking with a male friend who has been divorced about as long as I’ve been, he confessed that, when confronted with a form asking whether he was “single,” “married” or “divorced;” he puts himself in the “single” column.

I thought, but perhaps didn’t say, “But that’s a lie and probably violates the entire reason the form had for asking the question in the first place.”  Statistically once you’ve been divorced, forever you’ve been divorced; unless of course, you remarry.  Some people should just count their blessings forms don’t ask for a “number of times” in addition to the “divorce” column.  

But seriously.  No one can take away the achievements you’ve had in life.  You were the prom queen, the valedictorian, the top salesman for the third quarter, an executive at a Fortune 500 company, given “The World’s Best Dad” mug from your daughter.  Those things are all yours whether you lose your figure, can’t work a computer, can’t make a sale during the fourth quarter, get downsized out onto the street or find out your daughter “hates” you.  At the same time, if you declared bankruptcy, burnt a house down, wrecked an oil tanker causing a big oil spill or got divorced; you can’t just magically erase those things either.  

Put it this way:  if you encounter a form that asks whether you ever burnt a house down and you once did?  You can’t say “no” simply because you don’t have a match in your hand right now.

Of course that’s just the forms  . . . . the facts.  Anyone the south side of 40 has learned not to let “the facts” get in the way of “the truth.”  My driver’s license may tell you my chronological age, but it doesn’t exactly say how old I am . . . . .    Scratch an adult the right way and you’ll discover huge chunks of kid just underneath.  

After all the forms are filled out, it’s not the facts that are important; it’s how we frame and label ourselves “based” on the facts.  

How long are you “divorced?” 

I know a man locally who has been divorced as long as I’ve known him, about 15 years.  I’ve never even seen his wife.  Yet, let the conversation stray just the wrong way and he’s good for at least a half hour of “my ex-wife” tirade conveyed with vehemence that would make you think it all happened yesterday.  “Divorced” is a suit he wears and it is one he finds so comfortable he will wear it forever.    Of course, it is just one suit in an entire line of clothing I think we could call the “things that have been done to me” collection.  It’s not a new collection, but he’s added to it over the years and the clothes now fit so well, he forgets where the fabric ends and he begins.  It has become his identity and he’d feel naked . . . . .  exposed . .  without it.  Perhaps it began an elaborate “misery loves company” “you show me yours, I’ll show you mine” game or maybe he just developed a strong “sympathy” tooth and like a rat trapped in a maze that once magically produced cheese, he just keeps pushing the button.   

At the same time there’s a woman I know locally whose personal info on Facebook depicts the pain, heartache and “life lessons” her divorce gave her listed side by side with her hobbies and occupation.  Right underneath that?  In the looking to meet and why?  

Men and to be in a relationship.

I’m not sure she has set out the right bait . . ... .

Dear America, Do You Want to Know What Your Problem Really is?

Please read in order as presented. 

10 Reasons I Like Disney

It happened again recently.  I found myself in the unenviable position of having to defend why I like all things Disney.  Unenviable, not because Disney is without merit, but because you can never defend things you enjoy and actually persuade anyone and change their mind.  

I understand.  Really.  I used to be a complete “Life’s a bitch and then you die” sort of person.  “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” and “Love is a warm puppy” put sickening long suffering looks on my face.  

There is a wonderful quote by Osho, “Misery nourishes the ego.”  Certainly I felt very superior in my hostile isolation bubble for one.  Rather than try to shake off my gloom and unhappiness, I chose to wallow in it.  Sad, when you consider I’ve been told my best feature is my smile.  

I don’t know what happened.  Time and time again I have tried to uncover what made me stand up and brush myself off, while so many choose to savor their bitter choices.  

Maybe I’d just had enough.  

Maybe I was lucky enough to encounter brighter, shinier people who gently led me out of the darkness.  

No matter, I know if you hate all things Disney and see it as the menace that destroyed everything good and real in the world, I won’t persuade you any differently.  Meanwhile, I discover that my new enlightened viewpoint on the world, requires a gentle maintenance and intentional mental thumbing through the nicer things in life.  So, for my own delight, and hopefully the enjoyment of at least a few others, today’s deliberate scrutiny of things that make me happy will be 10 of my favorite things about Disney.

10.   “Phineas and Ferb.”  Like Twitter, I discovered “Phineas and Ferb” by noticing other people were talking about it.  I had written off most of the Disney Channel material, thinking the shows were “strictly kid stuff,” but on a whim, I decided to give it a look.  What I found, was one of those shows, like “Pinky and the Brain,” written for children, but with wonderful submerged adult moments and insights, usually delivered via Perry the Platapus or Dr. Doofenshmirtz.  

Besides you could do far worse than greeting each day by singing along with the “Phineas and Ferb” theme song:

This could possibly be the best day ever, 

And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be a million and six times better, 

So make every minute count jump up, jump in and seize the day, 

And let's make sure that in every single possible way, 

Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!

And if you’re in a bad mood?   Try singing any Dr. Doofenshmirtz song. 

9.  "Tangled"  Sadly, Disney recently announced they had run out of princesses.  So ends a tradition that began in 1937 with Disney's first feature length cartoon, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."  No matter, there are enough princesses to go around and for every woman who knows her heart, there is probably a princess who secretly speaks to her.  Mine is Rapunzel in "Tangled."  Alternately enthusiastic and then shy and afraid because she was enthusiastic.  I know her because we dance the same dance.  

8.  The Jungle Cruise.  "I have a special treat for you, folks.  You may never have seen this before ... there it is - the backside of water!"  I think I've heard that very same joke every time I've ridden The Jungle Cruise.  With it's animatronic attractions and schmaltzy jokes, the ride trades both on being a comfortable memory as well as a fairly cool, seated attraction when lines are long and the day is hot.  But, because I once heard that John Lasseter got his start as a Jungle Cruise Captain, the ride always reminds me some very famous people started out as Disney Cast Members, among them :  Steve Martin in Merlin's Magic Shop; Michelle Pfeiffer as Alice in the Main Street Electrical Parade; and along with John Lasseter, both Robin Williams and Kevin Costner probably once told visitors to check out "the backside of water."  Each time after riding The Jungle Cruise, I'm sure I smile a little wider at all the cast members I meet, while wondering who they might be in their futures.  

7.  Pin Trading.  Don't get me wrong.  I've seen some seriously disgusting moments of greed and avarice surrounding Disney Pin Trading, Special Events, Limited Edition Pins, and those pins marked as only tradable with children.  But I'm not here to shine a light on how humanity can unerringly turn something fun into something unspeakable.  I'm here to celebrate Disney fun and Disney Pin Trading is fun.  Don't believe me?  Try it.  If you don't travel to a Disney park using a travel service that entitles you to a free lanyard and complimentary pin, buy the cheapest lanyard you can find that includes a pin or two and start approaching Cast Members wearing pins.  Choose some theme you will follow as to what type of pin you are trading up to.  I usually go with the theme "Disney Cats."  Pin trading adds an element of scavenger hunt to your visit and transforms you from simply another visitor to a slightly more involved and enlightened insider.  You may find yourself engaged in some fascinating conversations, both with other visitors and Cast Members alike, that you never would have experienced simply walking from attraction to attraction.  

6. " Kingdom Keepers."  Have you ever noticed leaving a Disney park at night, that the characters aren't walking out side by side with you?  Ridley Pearson noticed and developed an entire world around the notion.  In the "Kingdom Keepers" series, a group of school kids chosen to portray holographic, interactive guides in Walt Disney World find themselves involuntarily traveling to the park at night while their body is at home asleep.  Maleficent and a whole cadre of villains are determined to take over the parks and it is up to the Kingdom Keepers to stop them.  In order to research his books, Pearson scored the mother of all Disney passes and made good use of it.  The books begin in Walt Disney World, travel over onto one of the Disney cruise ships and end in Disneyland.  Fun stories with lots of mystery, excitement and "Behind the Scenes" details, my only complaint is that Disney seems to have no intention of creating what would seem to be a "no brainer" series of movies.  

5.  The Haunted Mansion.  As a child I coveted The Haunted Mansion.  That's all there is to it.  My parents wouldn't drive 50 miles to San Francisco, let alone go to Disneyland.  If I mentioned it, they simply said, "You've already been there."  Of course I was two-years-old at the time and remembered only having seen the Dumbo ride briefly on a family super-8 film.    I was one of those kids who loved mysteries and Halloween, ghost stories and Creature Features.  Every time I would see a commercial featuring The Haunted Mansion, my heart wanted to be there.  As an adult, whether it is The Nightmare Before Christmas holiday version or the original, even though I know how all the tricks are done, I still find myself leaning ever so slightly out of my "Doom Buggy," craning my neck to see all of the tombstones, happy to be the 1000th ghost.  

4.  The extended Disney community.  If there's a secret handshake, I've never learned it.  But Disney lovers DO all have something in common.  With an easy smile, they have a story to tell.  Whether it is the first time their son or daughter visited a park; watching "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color" as a child; or when they bought their first set of "Mouse Ears," Disney fans carry memories with them that can always brighten their day and they are almost always willing to share them.  Across the internet, you will find all sorts of blogs and fan websites dedicated to sharing someone's love of Disney.  

3. Pirates of the Caribbean, The Blue Bayou, and New Orleans Square.  Some day I want to go to the real New Orleans, but until then I'm pretty content visiting the Disney version.  I know that is the epitome of everything most Disney haters hate:  the replacement of the "real" with the Disney version.  I know. I know.  I once made those same arguments.  At the same time, for me, the most beautiful Christmas display Disney has to offer is at New Orleans Square and there is nothing quite like sitting in The Blue Bayou watching the Pirates of the Caribbean boats drift by or sitting in one of the boats on Pirates of the Caribbean as it passes The Blue Bayou.  Even before the movie series, Pirates was my "must see" attraction and usually is the first and last ride of any Disney vacation.  

2.  Attention to detail.  Everywhere you look, there is something to see.  The queue areas for rides extend the theme all the way out to the entrance.  Not only does each park have a castle with detailing like mosaics and carved wood, each park has a different castle honoring a different princess.  The Haunted Mansion is in a different land in each park and instead of using the carbon copy mansion, each mansion is a unique and different mansion.  Wait for a friend using the restroom off Main Street and you just may hear the a piano teacher addressing her students from a window somewhere above you.  Both In Mickey's Toontown as well as Tarzan's Treehouse, there are ropes to pull and buttons to push which reward children with smoke or growls or horns.  Hidden Mickey's grace manhole covers, tiles, and stair railings.  All around you from the very ornate to the quietly simple, surrounding details remind you:  This is a Disney park.  

1.  Walt Disney himself.  By the end of nearly every trip, I have encountered something of Walt Disney which, I have to admit, has probably brought tears to my eyes in admiration of the man.  In Walt's own words, "Why do we have to grow up?  I know more adults who have the children's approach to life.  They're people who don't give a hang what the Joneses do.  You see them at Disneyland every time you go there.  They are not afraid to be delighted with simple pleasures, and they have a degree of contentment with what life has brought - sometimes it isn't much, either."  

A String for My Finger

Why be disappointed or complain at the duck who quacks at you? It isn't as if you didn't know they were a duck.

KONY 2012

In 2009, on a weird, wild hair of a whim, I decided to try Twitter.  Someone mentioned it on television and in a moment of curiosity, I decided why not.  In my early hours, everything I tweeted was fraught with peril.  I had become E. F. Hutton, when Angela tweets, the world listens.

Which, of course, it does not.

I couldn’t tell you how long it took me to realize the core emptiness of the internet, but it didn’t take long before I was writing things like this:

We create blogs and websites; tweet on Twitter; share what’s on our minds on Facebook and our status and moods on MySpace.  All of which is simply yelling into the internet vacuum, “Can you see me?”

“The Internet vacuum.”  I had come to a self agreement of safety on the internet.  Really I could be myself, say what I want, share what I want.  No one is listening anyway.

On September 14, 2008, while at Disney’s California Adventure, I tried on a pair of goggles in the shop across from “Soarin.”  Noticing me, a friend snapped the most fleeting of snapshots of me.  It is a blurry shot and almost never happened at all.  It had just the right amount of fun and anonymity to make it my perfect avatar.  I used it on Twitter and every other internet site I’ve joined ever after and have seldom deviated for more than a requested hour or two.

Here’s the thing, though, just when I decided no one pays attention.  No one cares.  Someone did.

The person I now consider the love of my life saw that avatar on blip.fm and it caught his interest to want to learn more about me.  He read my stories at writing.com.  He read my blog at blogger.  I could walk you through the ins and outs of how the relationship built, when I realized I lam in love with him.  I could try to explain to you what is essentially the unexplainable.  Instead I will say simply this:

Posting a blurry snapshot of myself on the internet created a domino effect in my life that has led to me falling in love with the man with whom I want to spend the rest of my life.

To quote Shakespeare:  “There are more things possible in heaven and earth . . . . .than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

I have had living proof of the impossible being possible in my life.

I have had proof we live in one world rather than the 196 the world’s countries would lead you to believe.  That guy who saw my picture and read my writing?  Did I mention we aren’t from the same country?  Did I mention we live not only 6500 miles apart, but at our best we are 21 hours apart and 23 hours at our worst.  When we talk, via Skype, from out of own countries, we aren’t even living the same calendar date.

Perhaps instead of the big vacuum where fragile egos struggle to be heard, perhaps the internet is like a large body of water.  Throw enough rocks or just one large one and you create enough ripples someone just may notice on the opposite shore.  Perhaps the ripples will still happen even if you don’t believe in rocks, bodies of water or ripples.  Perhaps someone will notice even if you believe no one is watching.

This is your chance.  Watch the Invisible Children video and see if you don’t want to throw a metaphorical rock or two, by means of the Kony 2012 action kit, out into the world.

Near the end of the video, Jason Russell makes a brave promise.

"The better world you've waited for is coming."

Meanwhile memes across the internet proclaim it a joke.  I posted the one below myself.  

I should explain.  You see, my country, America, has been in one damned war or another my entire life.  Until September 11th, none were particularly marketed as anything protecting my safety or really any one else’s.  Strong arguments can be made they were all simply about money.  It seemed to me, before I was born Americans had a modicum of respect in the world, but by the time I was old enough to understand the question, I was pretty sure the answer is that we are hated.

I mean, we are the world’s biggest butt-in-ski’s.  We pick sides all over the world, choose “allies” to be part of our team, and then fight the world’s battles.  Sometimes it is a bit much to stomach.  I mean, consider “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.”  According to the hierarchy, man’s needs begin at the physiological level, in other words, the things a person needs to simply stay alive.  It is only after those basic needs are filled that humans can extend out and consider safety, love/belonging, esteem, and finally, self-actualization, or, morality, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice and acceptance of facts.  It always seemed to me that if a human being can’t even begin to think about solving the worlds problems until AFTER all of his other needs are met, you would think a government would be the same.

America herself would seem to still have enough problems we aren’t quite ready speak on anyone else’s.

It is that internet relationship which opened my eyes a little.  I’ve seen my share of “Ugly American” assumptions across the internet.  I’ve seen Americans be ugly and people of other countries assume that they will be.   He and I weren’t part of that.  He and I formed a bridge despite all bigoted, prejudicial assumptions.  Where I cringed and saw a country with feet of clay, he praised it, talking of how quickly and thoroughly Americans come to the rescue in times of disaster.  Where I was weary of being the citizen of the country seemingly determined to be the world’s police, he taught me the words to the theme of “Team America” and lightened my load.  When I was skeptical, he presented the postulate, “what if sometimes the world DOES need police?  What if sometimes America does get it right?”  While I was posting negative memes about overthrowing a dictator by hitting “like” on Facebook, he watched the video and encouraged me to do the same.

Watch the video.

If there ever was a chance for America “to get it right,” this is it.

Help bring Joseph Kony to justice in 2012.

Watch the video.  Take each and every action you can stir yourself to making.  Each action is a pebble thrown in that water.  Each action could be the outward edge of a ripple that makes a difference.

The better world you waited for is coming.

Bring Joseph Kony to justice in 2012.  We achieve that and just imagine what we might attempt in 2013.

http://www2.invisiblechildren.com/videos

http://www.kony2012.com/

American Idol March 7, 2012

I’m watching Idol and Jimmy and Mary J. Blige are explaining a moment with one of the contestants.  She had been running towards the big note in a song, kind of like an ice skater headed for a triple jump.  Mary J told her not to anticipate the note.  Sing everything up to it, forget about it, feel the song.  The girl sang it again taking her advice and truth clicked in her perception and awareness.  She got it.  For a moment, she held the secret.  But come time for the performance, she choked.  She lost the leap of faith the task required.  

Jennifer told her “There’s nothing in that song you can’t do.  So why think about it?  Just tell the story.”  

Immediacy.  I think I learned that what they all were talking about was that singers, really great singers, don’t just sing.  They feel what they are singing.  It is their truth, their pure emotion that floats the fire on the oil of their words.  

That’s the secret.  Even though a book out there has held the title for ages, “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.”  As usual, probably too many focused on the word “money” to really get the message.  

Do what you love. 

Accept no substitutes.  This life doesn’t go on forever.  It isn’t so it will pass more pleasantly or smoothly.  It is your connectivity.  It is your purpose.  What you love is what you will do well.  What you do well is what you contribute.  The more people who are living at this level, the more beautiful the world, the greater the potential.  

We are not living at our potential.  

If there were a God, he would weep.

I imagine the world set off like a perpetual motion machine.  Perfect.  Synchronized.  When was it then, some human took the first mis-step?  When did they shift the motion to emit this clanging?  

Fear and anger.  Hate and racism.  

If makes me afraid.  Once something in perpetual motion gets moving, particularly out of sync, isn’t the end result destined to be everything running off the tracks?  Falling to oblivion?  How could we possibly love enough to provide the nudge to shift the momentum?  How to shift so many people who don’t even speak the same language to be told how they’ve lost their boundaries?  

Labeled as freak somewhere akin to Christian but with less credibility, your message would go unheard.  

But instinctually, don’t you know it as truth?  Mechanical things that fit together work smoothly, almost as if they are happy with each other.  Almost as if they are doing what they love.  There is no resistance.  Smooth like a newly graphited lock.  

We’re so mystified.  Bewildered.  We can’t even begin to tell you what it is that we love.  Who it is we love.  Surely what I love must be what that guy over there said he loved.  Yeah, I’ll have what he’s having.  I’ll value what he’s having.  I want mine.  Settling for someone else's dream, yet wondering why they are never happy.  Shoving goods into the torn patches, those empty clumps missing their stuffing.  

The minute it isn’t about the rewards, the rewards will come.  That same minute you would do it for free just to be able to do it.

Love it.

Live it. 

Be it.  

That’s what I think that girl on American Idol learned in that moment.  

VII

Sometimes the simplest of unplanned things, have the most beauty.  My favorite song right now, an ear worm in my head, is a simple a capella song I discovered because of facebook.  I think the girl singing is more of an actress than a singer.  The song is supposed to be a cover, but when the first time you hear it, you hear it by the cover artist and you've never heard the original AND love the cover - guess which version becomes the song for YOU?

A girl walks onto a stage to perform, after much dragging of feet and procrastinational delaying tactics, the music starts and the solo female performs ......... the doo wop background of a scarcely known song.  The audience stares, confused.

Sometimes you may only be a background singer to the choir.

The sound of an isolated piano key 

Tap tap tapping

You can taste the ivory in your fingertips

One repeated note that has a temperature

Suddenly I realize everything is reflection.  Everything.  Everything you project is what is reflected back to you.  

Harpo Marx's famous mirror gag IS the meaning of life!

Go figure.

That wildfire I was talking about the other day?  That's how it spreads like reflection.  As if each of us has a special mirror, imbedded in us, hidden to the outward viewing eye, that picks up another's light and transmits it to yet another.

In the background, Anthony Hopkins voice speaks, a character from the movie Hearts in Atlantis, 

“And then we grow up

And our hearts break in two”

(and I suddenly I see everything so clearly - our hearts break in two at the loss of the ones who don't reflect)

You should have heard him just now

my father, 

Saying, “I opened a savings account?” In absolute disgust 

There are signs everywhere.

Reflection.

Everything.

Where your mind is, is another thing.

Graduated light reflected in a mirror.

Rich undeniably unfocused beauty

The inescapable truth of those who see cockeyed 

Oblique to the truth

The questions we ask

The doubts

Reflected

A mirror darkly

We seek 

Always looking for

That one companionable rhythm

Life 

With its beautiful potential

Blocked 

Hidden

Lost

Little bombs 

Going off in our good intentions

No wonder

We walk with a blind man's stick

Waving wildly

Are you there?

Are you there?

What if we are not here to save our parents?

What if the one sheltering home

Available upon our arrival

Was less than sheltering

Not our job to post groom the incubator

Focus

Direct

Your focus

All is reflection

Choose then

What shines off from you

So cheesy

So rich

The truest trues expose themselves 

In bright light

In the background 

Billy Joel

“And in the darkness

I see your light turn on

I need your inspiration tonight”

Piggy back 

We cling

Light drawn to light

Nature's lite brite set 

Exposed

Those who try

Never know

They cannot hide

Exposed

Left behind

Like hitting 

Yourself with a hammer

And saying 

This feels good

Instinct

Like riding 

A really good wave

You feel the rightness

Through your feet

And your legs

Your torso

Your lungs

It seeps from your pores

Surrender

No need to label

No gods to thank

Or blame

Inside

Is primal

Pre -language

Guttural

Immediate

The cum blast of this moment

And this moment

Back to back

Each

Those 

Left behind 

Would think to die

From such joy

Unfathomable

Too much

It hurts

Rhythm

All is rhythm

And reflection

Get the rhythm wrong

The next layer fails to happen

Life 

A Rube Goldberg experiment

Left on auto play

The larger universe

Encapsulating our universe

A dead and deserted world

Of automatons

Unthinkingly

Nudging

Loss ball bearings

That 

Bump into

Our intentions

Nothing personal

Sometimes life flows 

So perfectly

It is as if you have

God's hand up your ass

Blasphemy

That one isolated color

For me 

Red

For you

Blue

But still

We see what we see

Together

United in our

Common interpretation

Beautiful

Our link

Inescapable rhythm

And the tingle 

Of connection

Electric

At our best it is us 

who powers the universe

pistons pump 

drive the little ball bearing 

to the next domino drop

synchronicity

beauty 

simplicity

why things never happen

when set into place

things must fall

an airborne moment of trust

flight 

the second between 

the known 

and the known

freedom

not forced 

or begged

not fought for 

or won

nothing that can be taken from us 

by anyone 

but 

honestly . . .

does the last domino to fall

question the hand that started the motion?

or does it simply skid and slide as momentum carries it

across the table

I read the other day that the signs of the big bang are disappearing.  Cosmology is going away because there is nothing left to study.  Who is to say, then, of the sciences that never were because man’s brain was not yet large enough to perform the act, to study?  

All the answers of the universe, there at your fingertips and you, just, not prepared.  Not ready.  

The most brilliant of people, reduced to Rain Men, when their intellect is aimed in the wrong direction.  

So much beauty.

Never seen.

All of the sorrows of existence 

at the feet of those dampened 

their beautiful reflective lamps 

as if painted with mud

but you and I 

we shine

here in our special and private corner

a child’s special fort 

we have everything we want 

everything we need

my warmth 

your warmth

your love

my love

together

one

yet two

a special gift 

ours alone

beautiful

that inescapable 

contrast 

separateness

we crave

we need 

to feel

whole

Why is it so hard for some?  Why so hard to realize that beauty and art and passion can be light?  Can be joy?  Why the persistence in seeing the cold blue shaft of icy pain as truth and beauty?  

Must work be hard?

Why not effortless?

Why not what simply what extends outward naturally, with ease?

Why is what comes simply and easily, assumed to be crap?

This is shit.  This is shinola. 
Learn the difference.  

Humans the most discriminating of creatures

Hold still so I can slip on your label 

and put you on your shelf 

with the others like you 

Why is it good to have company and be in a bad neighborhood 

rather than be brilliant in a room by yourself?

Prefer to slip your label on yourself?

Rather than to remain uncategorized?

Alone

and in the background . ..   Black Eyed Peas

“pump it 

louder 

pump it 

louder”

demanding attention

look at me look at me

I will not be ignored

the cries of those who do not reflect

but only absorb

take

and 

take

you know them, they’ve sucked your breath from your mouth while the world burned around you, they push you down like you’re their handrail

brace me

support me

help me 

and you try

you are the very best handrail money can buy

stainless steel

rigid with purpose and intention

and

Bobby Darin . .

“the world delights 

in magical sights

beautiful days

when I can gaze 

in beautiful eyes 

like yours

life is full of beautiful things . . .. “

so much beauty

surrender

open up 

and expose 

the tender bits you hide

release them to the light

air out the mildew and lack of use

saving your best for the right time

as if you’re a precious, limited commodity 

you’d rather waste than misuse

bewildered by the lessons taught to you by those who could only teach 

what they had learned

limited limitlessness

Boundaries penciled in by cowards

afraid to use felt tipped pen

assuming they know

assuming there is nothing more to know

than what they know

such comfort

such ease

no fear

the very large fish in the very small bowl

nothing to challenge

better in that crowd in the very very good part of town

with no surprises and nothing to think

everything planned and simple 

a pageantry of synchronized living 

Did you know humans tend to find agreement in things they have already seen? 

“This must be good.  I’ve seen it before.”

All growth.  All expansion.  

Slips in those mis-steps between your steps 

the things slipping in 

and yet those are what we would prune

label as weeds and throw 

in the brown yard waste bin

while trying not to feel guilty 

for including a weed

into what is sure to be next years compost

An optimist and a pessimistic walk into a bar

sit at an undersized round table

a glass in the center between them 

the dead center 

the glass

that glass

a waitress walks up 

she looks at the two of them

the optimist

the pessimist

locked

she picks up the glass 

jerks her hand 

tossing the water 

to fall 

a shower of individual drops

spray

without meaning 

without form

free

before she walks away she says,

“I give up.”