So let me give you the real story . . . she's an all right human for the most part . . . a little soft maybe, but all right. She seemed lonely so I began visiting her house and she would feed me and eventually she brought me inside. I had it made. She was easy to train and soon I had her getting up at 3 am and 5 am to give me treats . . .in addition to regular meals at 6 am, 10 am and 7 pm, of course. I trained her which food was the proper one to give me, to lift the blankets for me on the bed and raise the curtains when I wanted to look out. Life was pretty sweet. I was boss of the house. The undisputed Queen Kitty.
She takes a little maintenance . . . she's a little needy. Checks in every hour or so when she's here, to run her paw on your fur or mumble into the back of your neck. It can be a little irritating when you've settled in for a nap or she pulls out that clicking metal thing just when the finches are in the fennel on the other side of the glass. Most of the time, she knows her place and is easy to manage.
But she's soft, all right? How could I know she'd bring that dork in too?